The weekend proved to be a somewhat difficult time for me and for my writing. This is not to say that something bad happened in my life but instead to say that my drive and desire to write was subsumed in the act of living and spending time with my family. Overall this is not a bad thing but it certainly does not help in reaching the goals that I have set for myself.

Day 10 – Saturday was simply a busy day of appointments, shopping and a dinner that was so foul that I considered writing negative reviews about the restaurant in question. (I will be writing that review actually, but since the restaurant in question already has negative reviews I will not post them in yelp or urbanspoon. Instead I will be creating new posts for the food and dining blog that we are building for this area.) Consequently by the end of the day I simply had not desire (and an aching stomach that proclaimed a loud NO to doing anything) to write at all.

Day 11 – This day was slightly better though I was still reeling from the dinner of the night before. I managed to get up early for a Sunday and went out to a local coffee shop to join people from the local NaNo group to write. While I did manage to write a bit during this period I have to say that it did not feel like a success to me. The group was overly loud that morning and it seemed as though nearly everyone was more concerned with socializing than with working on their stories. I could understand this of the one guy who was already nearing 100K words but not of anyone else. I actually left the group that morning feeling disgruntled and unable to get back into my writing since that time. However, I did manage 1,305 words in those short hours.

One thing I should mention is that I can compare this day to Day 5 since I had met with a couple people from the group on that day as well. There was some talking on the 5th but the level of discourse was much lower and quieter. So the question is whether the fact that more people showed up is what made it an unpleasant experience for me or if it was the continued effects of the night before. I am not certain as of this writing but since there is another meeting next Sunday I will hold off on a conclusion until after the meetings end. (Although I am somewhat hopeful that I can continue to talk to these individuals after NaNo is done as having fellow writers locally could be a positive impact on me.)

Day 12 – Yesterday was simply one of those days that is broken into smaller chunks do to errands and other things that had to be done. Sadly each piece felt like it wasn’t long enough to actually get any writing done. But that is not the truth. In reality I am making excuses even as I sit here saying that I didn’t feel like the time was enough or that something else was in my way.

In reality my friends, I stopped myself. For whatever reason within myself I know that I didn’t want to write yesterday and it has come through. I did nothing all day yesterday and these words here (571 as of this spot) are the first words I have written since Sunday morning.

I cannot let this be the end my friends. This is who I am. I am a writer and I will be published. Even as I work on these words I have the desire to get back into it though I still feel like my story is going nowhere and that it is utter crap at this stage. But that is just it right? The story is crap and only by finishing this draft, reviewing the total, evaluating each scene and rewriting them for better impact and grammar can I make the story something amazing.

Like all writers I have ideal role models to follow after (I believe I shall talk about them and their impact on my writing in a future post) including Robert Jordan, ‘grandfather’ Tolkien, and so many others. Right now I feel like they are watching over the writers of the world as we battle ourselves in the process of becoming better writers in order to produce those pieces of gold and silver that are our craft. While I could say here that I will not fail them, the truth is that I will first be failing myself.

And that is something I cannot do. This is my goal and this is my life.

I have 21,445 words written and as of last night my goals were 20,004/40,008/60,000. I am barely above minimal right now but I can and will press ahead to reach the upper goals. It is time I go my friends for I know that if I do not get to writing I will not write.

It is time to put the pen back to the paper under the watchful gaze of one of my cats.

Be well,